Escape from Israel...

You know you're glad to get out of a place when the thought of Cairo and all its traffic, noise, pollution, and scams is not only stomachable, but actually evokes a feeling of longing. Yet that's the way I felt after a couple of days in Israel and the Holy City of Jerusalem.

Let's start from the beginning.

On Holy Saturday, April 3, Ben and I were in the middle of a familiar routine: waking up at the crack of dawn (oh wait, I actually didn't go to bed the night before, so I guess I didn't do any "waking up") in order to catch a bus to a new and exciting city. We had spent the past three days in Amman, and although Petra was quite a spectacle and the crusader castle at Karak was all fine and dandy, we were a little disappointed with our time in Jordan. We had spent far too much money in the relatively expensive country, had gotten thoroughly scorched and broken down while hiking for eight hours in Petra, and had missed visiting the Roman ruins in Jerrash on what turned out to be a highly unproductive Friday (we spent two hours sitting in a bus- that was not moving...enough said). We were hoping Israel would provide some invigoration and a fitting finale to our two week journey.

We took a 7 am bus from Amman to the King Hussein/Allenby Bridge border crossing. Here we transferred buses and were shuttled across to the Israeli side, and prepared to be processed (I love the sound of that). Similar to the mystique surrounding crossing into Syria, there is a lot of hype and hysteria surrounding entrance procedures at Israeli borders. For starters, there's the whole deal about getting the dreaded "stamp of death." Basically, because Israel is considered a state enemy of several Muslim majority countries (Iran, Lebanon, Syria, Indonesia for starters), the presence of an Israeli visa stamp in your passport will prevent from gaining admittance into any of them. Apparently you could ask to get your visa stamped on a separate piece of paper, but there were tales of custom officers either ignoring your request or "forgetting" and stamping your passport "accidentally."

And before you could even think about worrying about the visa itself, you had to pass through security. This was considered an especially difficult task if you'd visited Arab countries beforehand (ding ding ding!). There are stories of people being detained and grilled for hours at the border and others being rejected for no apparent reason. Needless to say, I was a little nervous as we made our way into the facility, especially with my passport chalk full of Lebanese and Syrian stamps, as well as the fact that I had in my possession a book that featured Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and King Abdullah shaking hands on the cover.

The process itself wasn't too bad- probably only forty five minutes in total. Nonetheless, there were a couple of disconcerting moments. For one, seeing a teenager wearing plainclothes- a nice green polo and some khakis if I recall correctly- and shouldering a decked out M4 assault rifle definitely is cause to pause. Another image, or rather experience, that messed with my mind was being grilled by teenage girls, who serve as Israel's primary custom agents. I came away from that feeling a little vulnerable and confused. But whatever. We were through, and on our way to the holiest of holies, Jerusalem.

We settled into the little shuttle that would be taking us to J-town. During the 25 minute drive, we struck up a conversation with an interesting French woman who has been traveling away from home for three years and apparently believes that sharks are our "friends." Nice, but crazy. After a while, we entered a tunnel leading directly through a cliffy hillside. When we emerged on the other side, our eyes were drawn immediately to the golden dome of the Temple of the Rock. We were in Jerusalem.

We got dropped outside the Damascus Gate. Now the real fun began. For some unknown reason, during the the 3+ hours that I had spent on the computer the night before when I was refraining from sleep, I had neglected to find out the location of where we'd be staying, the New Swedish Hostel. I knew it was in the Old City, but after that, well, I wasn't too sure. So without really knowing where we were or where we were going, we entered through the gate and plunged into the madness that is Jerusalem's Old City.

The streets of the Old City are narrow and crowded, and that's on a good day. The scene that unfolded before was absolute pandemonium. Apparently there was an event that afternoon that everybody and their uncle wanted to attend.Throngs of eager pilgrims mauled anyone who got in their way. Little old ladies clutched at Israeli security personnel and begged them to let them through closings in the street. After a few minutes of trying to deal with the insanity, Ben and I concluded that it'd be a good day to check out some of the sites outside of the Old City walls.


We headed out the Jaffa Gate, walked around the outer wall and eventually came to Mt. Zion, where the featured attractions included King David's Tomb as well as the room where Jesus and his disciples broke bread in the Last Supper. After that, we set out for the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives, where we saw the Church of All Nations, caught an outside glance of the Cathedral of Mary Magdalene, and put ourselves in good position for some panorama views of the Temple Mount and the rest of the Old City opposite us.



We headed back in to the Old City, where things had calmed down a bit. I was about ready to collapse. I hadn't slept the night before, and climbing up hills in the scorching heat with pre-existing sunburn was not the ideal remedy. I contemplated taking a nap, but decided to man up and see what else we could do that night. We looked for some food, but almost everything we found was absurdly overpriced, at least by Middle Eastern standards. We were about to go hungry until we ran into a hole-in-the-wall establishment serving kebab sandwiches for a somewhat reasonable 8 shekels (conversion rate is 3.7 shekels to a dollar, so a sandwich was about $2.20).

We returned to the hostel after eating. It came to our conclusion that staying in the overpriced hostel in the midst of this overpriced city was probably not the best way to end what had been an extremely frugal trip, so we canceled our reservation for Monday night. The plan was to leave Monday and get back to Cairo with enough time to get things together before classes started on Wednesday. Sounded good.

As for the next day, Easter Sunday, we had planned to wake up early in the morning, check out the Temple Mount, and then make our way to 10:30 Mass at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. However, we kept on hearing from everyone and their mother about some amazing service that occurred at midnight. So at 11:30, we headed over to the Holy Sepulcher and checked it out.

First off, a description of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher is in order. Or rather, an attempted description. It is simply something that cannot described. It is easily the most bizarre, wonderful, strange, odd, baffling buildings I have been in. Calling it simply a "church" doesn't do it justice because it is really so much more. It's a monumental structure of domed ceilings and narrow passages, that gives off the vibe of a crypt or a labyrinth. Ben described it as eclectic, a sort of hodge-podge of a variety of different elements. Its history of construction, destruction, and reconstruction, that spans a thousand years, certainly helps to explain why.

The Church of the Holy Sepulcher stands today on the spot where most Christian sects believe Jesus was crucified. In addition to this sacred site, the complex (for indeed, that's what it really is) houses several other highly significant relics and holy spots, including the Stone of the Anointing, where Christ's body was prepared for burial, and the Holy Sepulcher itself, the tomb where Jesus was laid after death. Thousands of Christian pilgrims visit it each day to touch or simply view these holy spectacles. We had actually visited a few hours earlier and waited in line for an for the opportunity to enter the Aedicule, where the tomb of Jesus is housed. The building is practically overflowing with relics and shrines, and it probably would've taken a solid couple of days to see them all. Click here to read a bit more about the Church of the Holy Sepulcher.

Anyway, the service, or whatever we attended, was truly fascinating. I'm not entirely sure what went down, but it was quite a sight to behold. A procession of Greek Orthodox, Coptic, Russian Orthodox, Armenian Catholic, and Roman Catholic religious men proceeded throughout the packed quarters to the Aedicule, where some type of traditional ritual was being performed. My senses were overwhelmed as a sea of people pressed in all around me, heavy incense wafted to and fro, candles flickered in the darkness, and the tones of chimes and bells echoed across the domed ceiling.It was a surreal experience. Here's some video footage of what went down.

 I always forget that you can't film things vertically

After sticking around for three hours with no foreseeable end in sight, we headed back to the New Swedish Hostel and got to sleep. Our plan for the next morning was now slightly altered, and we attended Easter Mass at the Holy Sepulcher, joined by our friend Erin from ND, before anything else. The service was in Latin and the building isn't exactly laid out in a way that is conducive for celebrating Mass with hundreds of people, but it was still an amazing experience.

After a lunch of candy (not only was it justifiable because it was Easter, but also because it was the cheapest stuff around), we headed to the eastern part of the Old City. We checked out the Wailing Wall (the last remaining remnant of the Holy Temple, where the Holy of Holies resided), and then made our way into the Temple Mount where we snapped some pictures in front of golden plated Dome of the Rock (built on the spot where Muslims believe Muhammad will be ascended into Heaven). It was pretty astounding to think about it: In less than an hour, we had visited some of the holiest sites of the world's three monotheistic religions, all of them within probably a square half mile of each other. Crazy.




Following our site seeing blitz, we were off to bus station in central Jerusalem to figure out our transportation situation for the following day. Along the way, we talked to some American girls who delivered some horrible news to us: the following day was Shabbat, the last day of Passover for Jews, and a significant national holiday. There would be no public transportation running until dusk. Our best bet would be to hire a private taxi to take us to Tel Aviv, where we could maybe catch a bus south toward Egypt. We hurried back to the Old City where we found an internet cafe that had phone services. We looked up the number for a taxi company, but our worst fear was confirmed: they had closed early for Shabbat. We were screwed. We looked online to see when buses were running, but we wouldn't even be able to get out of Jerusaelm until 8 pm, meaning we wouldn't get to the Israel-Egypt border till early early morning, well before (or after) any buses left for Cairo. Things looked bleak.

We ran into some other AUC students I knew from class that night, who likewise wanted to get out of expensive,crazy Jerusalem and back to Cairo ASAP. They said they had heard about a bus leaving from Jerusaelm at 8 am for the southern city of Eilat. It sounded too good to be sure. And sure enough, after waking up at 6 am the next day to catch it, it wasn't there. What now?

Fortunately, we were able to catch a service taxi to Tel Aviv  a little after 8. However, when we got to Tel Aviv, we were presented with another problem: the bus station wouldn't open until 5 pm. Not only did we want to get out of there as early as we could because we wanted to get back to Egypt, but also because we were in what appeared to be Israel's version of a ghetto, complete with impoverished looking minorities and run down buildings. Not an ideal place for five foreigners saddled with luggage to be hanging out.

We had initially ignored the horde of taxi drivers who wanted to charge us 1000+ shekels for a ride to Eilat ($270 or $54 a person). But after gathering up four others who wanted to travel to Eilat and getting an offer for 900 shekels, we agreed. However, as it turns out, we had agreed to get in a taxi with the driver from hell. The man was insane. He was large and scary and had soulless eyes. I thought at numerous times that he was going to eat me. Other taxi drivers even warned us about going with him, though at the time I dismissed this as jealousy that he had landed the gig.

When we left the station he demanded payment immediately, something generally unprecedented when taking transportation in the Middle East. When we said we'd pay when we got there, he absolutely flipped out. He spoke no English at all, only really angry Hebrew, so on occasion I'd yell something random at him like "PIZZA!" just for kicks. He actually drove around the block the station was on until we all paid up. We settled in for what we thought could be the last ride of our lives.

But overall, it was an uneventful trip, aside from stopping in the middle of the highway so the driver could get out and pee, as well as our 15 minute pull over session with multiple police cars (I was convinced he was a mass murderer, would shoot the cops, and then come back to the bus to finish us of). But aside from these detours, the guy made pretty good time.

We arrived in Eilat at about 4:45, then caught a taxi to the border crossing. There, we were in for a rude surprise: a 98 shekel exit fee. We'd seen some mention of an exit fee in the book, but we weren't really expecting to pay it. Places like Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan had loosely enforced their visa fees, so why couldn't Israel do so for a couple of Americans? Whatever.

We walked across the border and into Taba, Egypt. Unfortunately, we missed the 4:30 Cairo bus (Cairo is one hour behind Israel) by only a few minutes, so we had to settle for hiring someone to drive us back, and did so for 150 pounds each. But before we left, we were in for another disappointment: a 75 pound entrance fee into Egypt, even though we all had student visas and had been living there for at least two months. Madness.

The ride from Taba to Cairo flew by. There was one cause for concern, however. At the Suez Canal, we switched vans and drivers. We paid the first driver the full amount and then he gave the second driver a cut of it. So, lo and behold, when we got to Cairo, the driver refused to take us to a metro, as we had been promised, and tried to drop us off in a section miles away from Downtown. He'd already gotten his money, so what did he care?

One of the girls we were with called an Egyptian friend of hers who came to our rescue and got cabs for us back to our respective residences (we were out of money at that point). Ben and I got back to the AUC dorm in Zamalek sometime before 1 am, and, of course, welcomed ourselves back with a bowl of koshari. It had been a long, tiring, frustrating, and day but at least we were back. However, there was no denying how EXPENSIVE the events of the day had been. Here's a recap, broken down by how much I paid for each service:

10 shekel cab to the bus station in Jerusalem ($2.70)
30 shekel service taxi to Tel Aviv ($8.20)
100 shekel for transportation to Eilat ($27)
25 shekel for taxi ride to border ($6.75)
98 shekel exit visa ($26.50)
75 Egyptian pound entry fee ($13.90)
150 Egyptian pound ride back to Cairo ($27.75)
DAY'S TOTAL: $112.80

What a horrible way to end what had otherwise been an extremely frugal trip. But overall, the trip was amazing, and I will address it in full in the coming days. Israel wasn't that bad I suppose. I think the negative experience there was a factor of being tired and exhausted and in the last leg of our trip. If we'd done it first, we probably would've loved it. Additionally, a lot of the problems, like the complication woes on Monday, were partially our fault for not seriously looking into things ahead of time. Oh well, you live and you learn.

As I said, I'll be doing some full scale reviews of my trip in the upcoming days. If there is anything at all you want to know (along the lines of What was the best meal you had/favorite site you saw/biggest surprise you experienced? etc, feel free to email me them or leave them in the comment section and I'll to address them.